"ALLOWED"

It has been catastrophic for women to survive in a world where everything is limited and comes in a box. I read somewhere recently, “Why do women have to be “allowed” to do things that are otherwise normal for men?” This very thought prompted me to write this blog today. 

I often felt and observed that with time, as you grow, you see changes not only in your surroundings but generally in the lives of others. People who often call society their inspiration are the people who are prisoners of it. It is difficult to sustain a platform where men are successful when they are 60 LPA and women are successful when they are married and have kids. Although the notion is common, it scares every person. How a person can be defined by the identity of another who is earning lakhs and how working in a household is considered successful.

Living surrounded by people who are defined by their society is exponentially more difficult than surviving in the real world. I believe that women are and will always live in survival mode, not because she chose to do it but because certain individuals around her made her choose this life. The definition of success is different for everyone in terms of how they work hard and are educated. But in the definition of the same word, people connect it with climbing a professional ladder; society connects it with a girl being born, getting married, and having kids while living a life according to the parameters set by the very society that fails to teach their kids how to behave and respect. In terms of how we live today, while being a woman and living a life were taboo two decades ago, they are still taboo today. The difference is just that people don't show it in front of this world that is busy making their lives opulent. It still resides in the minds and hearts of those who have not seen growth and lives as full as that woman in there wants to, but it still exists. 

I am not denying the responsibilities we must take for the family that we love, but they should be balanced among the family so that “if I were to take care of you, you should do the same.” Since everything we do is give and take, right? How come, with time, it is the duty of women to climb the professional ladder but also get off the ladder when it comes to need? I have seen women surrendering to a patriarchal world, but I have also seen women living in a world where there is equality. Where not only the men share the burden of the women but also women sharing the professional platforms with the men.

I think it is indispensable to contemplate how the world has changed now—not just the society we are accountable to but the world itself. If you put your very own society and the thoughts that “society” has imposed upon you over your loved one, no one will ever fully live their lives. If you cannot protect your loved ones from your own family's opinions of each other's lives, you cannot protect them from the outside world either, no matter what you do or decide otherwise. It has been said, and I always believed, “Don’t let your food get cold worrying about what’s on someone else’s plate.” If we allow people to speak and express opinions in our lives more often than we do, in no time you will realize they are operating your life. That is why people tend to create boundaries in their lives—not to stop people from speaking but to limit what and how they speak in order to teach them how to respect privacy and personal space.

In order to understand the aforementioned facts and speeches, it is important that you have an open mind to welcome thoughts and advancements. It is important to create a sense of change in ourselves and accept that the world as time elapses is changing and getting bigger with time. Not giving us extra boxes to restrict the women in our house, but rather giving them space to grow and flourish. To learn what is more to the world.